I have been active online for more than 2 years now. I have been part of and still remain associated with a few of the community sites. Other than that, though I am not very active, I have been trying to do justice to this space that I have leased on the virtual real estate.
I have learnt many things – materialistic and not so materialistic in this world of WWW. And thanks to the community sites like Orkut & Stumbleupon I have gained knowledge about many topics / subjects & understanding of different points of view. The biggest development probably has been on the latter. I have “met” people from diverse cultures, countries, origins, economical strata, professions (both working and home makers) and different ages that it is not difficult to acknowledge the fact that many have left their impression on me. Some have left more than others. Many remain in touch with me on daily or on and off basis. And, for many the connection link has gone of the radar.
But among all these people that I have connected with – one thing remains common – had it not been for this virtual world probably I would have never even known of the existence or vice versa. Yet another that is constantly cropping up in my head right now is that the way I or the person on the other side of this screen has interacted with me is different for every touch point. This is not a “mystery” or something because this is the very nature of human interaction. Even in real life many people have different opinions about us. Some might consider us special, some might find us charming, some might us friendly, warm etc. These opinions about us could also fall on the “not so good” end of the spectrum. But that’s the way it has to be and everybody knows it. So, if I am saying that all our interactions are bound to generate diverse opinions about us and everybody knows it then what is that I am trying to point out over here?. My answer – am not reinventing the wheel, just trying to add a new spoke into it.
Let me raise a few questions both to myself and to you (if you have not only landed on my page by mistake but also have had the patience and time to read this :) )
Have you ever found yourself speaking to a contact or a friend that you think you have found on the “Virtual world” and finding that –
- You are probably opening up things about yourself to a person (whom you may / surely will never even meet) and sharing your thoughts, emotions etc which you have not even told closest of your people.
- You are more expressive on virtual world on certain topics or issues you feel about but consciously refrain either in part or completely in the real world.
- You are more receptive to ideas from the other side of the screen than you would have been to someone face to face.
- You have been more rude or more patient to someone virtual than you would have been to in real life.
- The virtual person is sharing his / her thoughts about you and saying words about you as a person which you thought would have never been associated with you. (Some one might say you are cool where in real life you are anything but cool, or someone says that they find you serious in life where as you might be seen as clown of the town by the people you meet on a daily basis)
This list can go on and on. But I think even these would be sufficient to make you think.
I can’t generalize it but I have can say for sure about myself and about few people in both real and virtual world that many of us who are active in virtual world that the answer to many of the aforesaid queries is yes. I remember I was testing my thoughts on this topic with a virtual friend and she said that she thinks I would fall in the category of always focused on career from childhood and always sure of whatever I wanted to do as I grew up. And she is a psychologist. But if one ever meets up with my room mates in college or even glances through my mark sheets they would see the complete opposite side of it. I am not even risking questioning the credibility of that psychologist friend of mine. But what I am trying to drive home over here is that she is accurate on her part because my traces in virtual world would indicate this only. And, am not even saying that I have been leaving false traces on the web. But what I am saying for sure is that the my traces on net have strong flavor of 1) my reason to be active online and 2) Freedom to jump back and from like in a time machine in real time (like in a 4th dimension).
Lets take these one by one.
- Reason of your virtual existence: If one is actively into community sites or into blogging they would have reasons behind it (there has to be a reason behind everything). For me the reason to be online is to interact with different people, expand my scope of knowledge base and sharing my “let us think” ideas. The reasons could vary from plain and simple time to kill in office, to fight of loneliness in life, to gain more knowledge, to do crazy things online (many such available online – exhibitionists etc ), or just to connect to people etc. So when we approach something in life with a certain frame of mind we act in a certain manner. And if repeat those steps again and again there will be a similarity in our behavior. And this commonality in your behavior is what are left as traces in the virtual world. And anybody who sees these traces and the commonality in your behavior sees you like that only. But why is this different from the real world? It is different in the sense that in the virtual world the other person doesn’t have the chance to see the other side of you (or the traces of other part of you) because you have not depicted your other behavioral aspects online. Let me make it simpler. You meet some one online and you always end up talking about the beauty of art and artists like Picasso. What does that person see? That you are artistic. Whereas in real life you do nothing related to art. (Why you don’t do it could be because of many reasons and may be my next blog entry).
- Virtual Time Machine: Most of us in this part of the world have started coming online only now. We are still trying to comprehend\the extent and possible impact of www on our lives. But as times are changing over here, so is our life style. And with life style what is changing are our aspirations and our way of looking at life at large. Thus, as we change our perspective, more often than not, we grow. And when we grow we change more.
Now lets go back in time in our real lives. Few years back, when I was in college I just wanted to go ahead and enjoy college. Career was the least of my worries. Find a partner for a game of pool everyday, finding a sponsor for my next bottle or beer and such things were more important. Few years of all that and growing up from it, all I could think of was grabbing a seat in IIMs. Then after getting that I wanted to crack sales. Post cracking sales I wanted to get into more macro level and do good strategy work. Once into that I wanted to get into giving gyan to people and what better way to do that than through management consulting. These were all different phases of life where different events happened. Now for all those people whom I connected to in real life during those phases see me in a different light. Again, for the virtual world, there is a different spoke in the wheel. This basic that different people in different phases of your life see you in a different light stands true for both real and virtual life. But what is different in the virtual world is that on the planet www I am able to interact with people who could have been a part of my other phases and other events in life at different points in time. This is where internet acts like a time machine. In real life as a management consultant I am definitely not going to hunt for a beer after every client meeting. But in the virtual world, even as a management consultant, I have the freedom to go back in time and connect as a dopey to a Jim Morrison fan. I can discuss “The Lords: Notes on Vision” with James Doughlas Morrison fan while being in office. I can do this over and over again. But the person on the other side sees me as a dopey only which I am not in the real life. Thus, when I have been interacting with the psychologist friend of mine, all I have been discussing is Sigmund Freud, onierology, and actions needed to convert dreams into reality. Maybe if I change my nature of discussions with her probably she will change her analysis :) .
Am exhausted right now. It seriously is tiring jotting down your thoughts on web. If anyone has had the patience to go through all of this than do feel free to leave a comment or share your thoughts with me on the subject.
With the way our lives are changing on all dimensions this picture captures a fact of life that we all should remember at all times।
