Scared to be bothered

Some time back I saw an accident in the middle of a road and I was sitting in my company bus. Apparently it was a bike accident and i could see a body on the road with loads of blood next to it. I could see many souls there .. but not a single soul at the same time. I saw it hardly for 10 - 15 seconds but a few thoughts starting going through my head.... I was thinking what if I was not in a bus. What would I have done or NOT done.....

The walk on the road
Takes him across twists and turns
I am not sure where it will lead him
But am not bothered for sure

The screams in his head
Makes him kill and burn
I am not sure if he is sane or insane
But am not bothered for sure

The wail of the child
Makes him stop and run
I am not sure if he is weak or strong
But am not bothered for sure

The blood on his hand
Shows him his pain and strain
I am not sure if he will live or die
But am not bothered for sure

The sorrow for the dead
Makes them howl and shed tears
I am not sure why does it matter
But am not bothered for sure

The blowing of the sirens
Make me go deaf and turn aside
I am not sure if am I empty or dead
But am not bothered for sure

Why should I bother?
Cause all it brings is trouble and pain
But my soul doesn’t listen
It shakes me, it snares me
I know I am bothered, but am too scared to say

-- Vinny, 15.03.2009

A Sincere Smile

Some times in life you come across people that are so genuine that it is nigh impossible for you to believe that it is possible for such people to exist. Your mind and heart goes through a continuous conflict on the possibilty of mere existance of such people. I have been fortunate enough to know one such person for last few months and as an ode to that special and genuine person here are a few lines that I have written.

(Dedicated to this Kid)

“A Sincere Smile”

I have always seen her smile,
And marveled on its design

The endless hours of rumination,
Have failed my perception

All that my core understands,
Is the irrefutable evidence of her virgin mind

What is it that bonds us?
Sincere to say, is the sincerity of her smile
--- Vinny 17.12.08

Carcass of a relationship

I am not sure why I wrote this. I guess one of the reasons is that one of my friends is just going through a separation after 4 years of relationship. His reasons are different but somehow when such things happen they do pull you down somewhat. Having said this, I still feel that the best way to overcome such things is to be strong, positive, and not being vindictive. Our mind is funny – at one hand it somewhere leads you on a path to hurt but it can also help you to overcome deepest of wounds as long as we want to. When things fall apart it is good to Smile and just move on.

“Carcass of a relationship”

The scream of the memory and the ashes of his dreams
Haunted his nights and burnt him from inside.

The battle in his mind and the execution of emotions
Defeated his innocence and made his soul cry.

The carcass of a relationship and the treason of promises
Crucified his trust and shook his cores inside.

The mirage of happiness and the reality of betrayal
Pierced his heart and ended his Life

--- Vinny 06.09.07

Breaking the silence of silence

They say, The roar of the lion
Breaks the silence of the wild

They say, The tick of the clock
Breaks the silence of time

They say, The ring of the bell
Breaks the silence of prayer

They say, The wail of a child
Breaks the silence of motherhood

They say, The rise of arrogance
Breaks the silence of wisdom

They say, The fall of trust
Breaks the silence of friendship

They say, The beat of the heart
Breaks the silence of Life

They say, The fall of the tears
Breaks the silence of pain

They say, The sob of a heart
Breaks the silence of happiness

All I say, The rise of love
Breaks the silence of silence

-- Vinny 05.09.07

Am learning to live

Couple of week’s back I went through loads of mixed feelings। Some one who is the reason I exist was going under the cut and I could not be there to hold his hands or even just be there. Loads of reasons which were all futile but all were just eating away my head. These lines are just my way to say. Thanks for being there for me and for forgiving me for not being there for you when you needed me the most.

I held your hands
And learnt to walk

I heard your words
And learnt to speak

I ate from your hands
And learnt to eat

I felt your embrace
And learnt to feel

I saw your smile
And learnt to laugh

I saw your anger
And learnt to apologize

I felt your warmth
And learnt to love

I saw your thoughts
And learnt to think

I saw your pain
And learnt to forgive

I saw your sacrifices
And I learnt to give

I tried to live your life
And I am learning to live

--- Vinny 03.09.07

Makes me wonder

The hatred in their voices
And their wailing for the blood
The wastage of heroics
And the victory of bondage
Makes me wonder
Why do we have to be a slave to our mind?

The void in their hearts
And the death of love
The absence of sanity
And the freedom of evil
Makes me wonder
Why do we have to be a child of a lesser mind?

The abuse of happiness
And sacrilege of purity
The shine of the swords
And the wisdom of anger
Makes me wonder
Why do we have to shun the beauty of life?

The abundance of lust
And the sleep of the shame
The cries of the victims
And the laughter of the law
Makes me wonder
Why do we have to born of a grave?

The serpent of religion
And the venom of caste
The poisoning of our hearts
And the bath of the gun
Makes me wonder
How do we wake out of this slumber?

-- Vinny, 03.09.08

Smile in a lie

Hopping from one time to another
And, waiting for the darkness to clear
He prayed. She prayed.

Growing amidst the fading memories
And, mesmerized with life’s vagaries
He wondered. She wondered.

Covered in the smoke of love
And, buried under the load of hope
He sighed. She sighed.

Sitting out with a cold beer
And, counting the shivers of the fear
He wept. She wept.

Waking up to the stars of future
And, fighting away the life’s daily demure
He walked. She walked.

Flogging away the life
Together, they found truth in a lie
And Then They Smiled.

----- Vinny, 13.08.07

No Title as of now

To the heavens galore,
We find the seas a blind,
To the glory night
And the heavens abide
For the love of God.

We smile to the hearts alive
& pray to the Angels above
that the doves fly,
There is nothing to say,
there is nothing to pray,
But we worship the dreams alive.

God Bless us all,
And pray to Him
For the dreams unbroken
But not fulfilled to the swollen heart.

Take my hand and walk the blind
For I will take you far away from the world of grind.

Smile, Smile …. Smile
Cause that is worship, Cause that is love
Cause that is the dream of a heart alive,
God Bless us All !!

-- Vinny

The Angels of Love, Life and Hope

When we are born,
God sends His angels to go and visit us.

As they stand near us, our eyelids lie closed.
When our mother holds us in her arms,
The supernatural beings sit and smile.
For they can see what will be ahead of us in our lives.
They see the adversity but they only notice the happiness and triumph.

The angels think for a moment and then
The angel of Hope says to the baby:
You will need to work hard in the many years ahead.
Your dreams will not be easily achieved,
Your goals will not be effortlessly reached.
There will be tears shed in tough times
But there will also be tears when there is joy.
Do not be afraid of achieving
And do not let fear pull you down.

On some days when you are growing up,
You will feel as though you do not want to carry on.
But these days will not last long
For darkness only appears until the light returns.
On those days you will need to work extra hard
And smile even if there is no reason to smile
For society appreciates people more when they have a happy face.

Then the angel of Life says:
Days may go as fast as the speed of light
But may also go as slow as a snail trying to reach its far away destination.
You must learn to love both these days.
The progressive ones and the rapid ones,
For the slow days are the ones on which you will grow and learn
And on fast days you will enjoy life but you will not spiritually gain anything.

Then the angel of love says:
You will inevitably fall in love,
And sometimes there will be rainbows beneath the valleys
And other times there will be storms below the clouds.
There will be times when you agree with your partner,
But also times when you will disagree.
Cherish both of these times as they both assist in the cycle of love.

You will meet people like and unlike yourself.
You will laugh with them and cry with them, too.
Time will seem to go quickly when spent with them.
These people will care for you and love you.
Always remember that the sun will rise at dawn,
That each day is a new day
And that as long as the sun wakes you up in the morning,
you must continue to have faith and hope.

And with that last thought,
The angels wave goodbye
And disappear into the thin air
And the baby opens its eyelids
Ready to begin its life long journey

----- By Benjamin Raymond

Flight in the Wild

Let your dreams flow like the wind
Let your wings take the flight of freedom
Don’t be afraid to go around the bend
Just open yourself to the world of wisdom

Though you may drift miles
But you must not be scared
Cause freedom brings in smiles
And beauty of life lies in the flight in the wild

- Vinny 07.04.07

Don't Quit

This is one of the most relevant and motivating poems I have come across...

When things go wrongs, As they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems so uphill,
When the funds are low and debts are high,
And you want to Smile but have to Sigh,
When care is pressing ou downa a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is Queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won if he'd stuck it out,
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You might succeed with Another Blow.

Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the Golden Crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

---Anonymous

Aphoristic Blindness

You and I stand here, togather yet alone
Waiting for someone or something
Disjoint emotions confuse our heads
And we question the moral worth of others??

Its an imperfect world
Bloated by corrupt thought processes
Value Judgements rule our eyes
Can we condone the infidelities of life??

We ride the horses of dreams
Driven by our volitions
Lust defines our actions
And we enjoy the death of our wisdom??

A meaningful birth
Moulded by the warmth of the world
Blinded by our imtemprate rage
Can we realize the beauty of our being??

-- Vinny (07.10.06)

The Lords - Notes on Vision

Some of my favourite lines by the Lizard King:

In the womb we are blind cave fish
---------------------------------------------
When play dies it becomes the Game.
When sex dies it becomes Climax.

All games contain the idea of death.
---------------------------------------------

The voyeur, the peeper, the Peeping Tom, is a dark comedian.
He is repulsive in his dark anonymity, in his secret invasion.
He is pitifully alone.
But, strangely, he is able through this same silence and concealment
to make unknowing partner of anyone within his eye's range.
This is his threat and power.

There are no glass houses.
The shades are drawn and "real" life begins.
Some activities are impossible in the open.
And the secret events are the voyeur's game.
He seeks them out with his myriad army of eyes -
like the child's notion of a Deity who sees all.
"Everything?" asks the child.
"Yes, everything", the answer, and
the child is left to cope with the devine intrusion.

The voyeur is masturbator, the mirror is the badge,
the window his prey.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Destroy roofs, walls, see in all the rooms at once.

From the air we trapped gods, with the gods’
omniscient gaze, but without their power to be
inside minds and cities as they fly above.

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The Struggle of love..

Am struggling to bathe in the raindrops
Falling on my soul…
I see you in the weeping clouds…
I see you in the rain …
Though, the tears of GOD…. Has given me a reason to smile
But … Am not happy .. Am Sad….

Am struggling to live our memories
Running through my heart …
I see you in my eyes ...
I see you in my soul …
Though, your memory … Has given me a reason to smile
But … Am not happy .. Am Sad….

Am struggling to steal you from the heavens
Hiding you inside …
I see you in MY Truth …
I see you in HIS lies…
Though, our child in my arms ... Has given me a reason to smile
But … Am not happy .. Am Sad….

Am struggling to understand this marriage of love and pain
Deciding the fate of our lives …
I see God’s Love …
I see Devil’s Ploy…
Though, The love that I have received ...Has given me a reason to smile
But … Am not happy .. Am Sad….

Am struggling to wake you from your sleep
Brought on to you from the skies …
I see you MY Angel …
I see you MY Wife…
Though, the hope of meeting you on the other side ...Has given me a reason to smile
But … Am not happy .. Am Sad….

Am struggling NOT to question the ways of My Lord
Running my life ….
I see HIS victory…
I see HIS loss….
How can I be happy? .. How can I smile??
When all your love.. brings only.. agony, pain & cries...

--- Vinny (28.09.06)